


Just two asexuals in Metrocity, falling in love

by Amyk89



Category: Megamind (2010)
Genre: Asexual Relationship, Banter, M/M, Teasing, work friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:55:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 13,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27093169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amyk89/pseuds/Amyk89
Summary: Bernard and Minion are similar in some ways, but mostly completely different, do opposites attract?Bernard starts off hating Minion, he’s so perky, and happy all the time. While Minion isn’t too sure about the sarcastic, smart mouth Bernard. Would working on a project together help them at least be friends, or more?
Relationships: Bernard/Minion
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

Bernard’s not sure how he is now sitting across an alien fish in a mechanical suit, sipping coffee, talking as if they are close friends. They are not. This is weird. 

One minute, he’s at work, going through the same, usual Tuesday, then Minion walks in, with a friendly smile on his face. Bernard instantly looks at Minions wrist to see if he has the same watch that Megamind used on him. He does. Does he have that same gun that’ll turn him into a blue cube again? Bernard shook a little at the thought. He will not go back to that! Waking up in a washing machine was horrible! Bernard can’t see a gun holster, but who knows with these aliens. He shifted his eyes to his desk, looking for a weapon, but could only find a stapler “not another step!” He was proud of being able to say that, he’s usually not the brave type. The stapler was in his hands as if it were a gun.  
Minion put his arms in front of his body, in a let’s stay calm way. “Sorry Bernard, I didn’t mean to scare you, I just want to talk”  
Bernard hesitated “empty your pockets”  
Minion looked surprised “really?”  
“Oh well, I guess you don’t have to. Do you have the de-gun though? Are you going to use my body again?” Bernard blushed when he realised what he said, and how that sounded.  
“Oh. No, I’ve actually come to apologise about all of that. It was wrong of Sir to keep you as a blue cube for so long, and wear your face. He is, I mean we are sorry”  
This surprised Bernard, but being how he is, he didn’t show it on his face.  
“Okay”  
This was awkward, he didn’t need to apologise, it’s been 3 months since it happened. Bernard wishes he would just leave already, he’s not good with people, or conversations for that matter. He’d rather be in his own thoughts then to have to try and come up with meaningless conversation.  
“So you forgive us?”  
“Sure”  
“Let me buy you a coffee, to make it up to you?”  
“But I already forgave you”  
Minion waved his hand, in a that’s nonsense way “that’s not enough. I’ll feel better if I at least got to buy you a coffee.”  
Bernard sighed and got his jacket. He moved his hands to gesture for Minion to lead the way. Whatever gets this over with sooner or later.

So that’s how Bernard got stuck here now. Maybe he shouldn’t of caved so soon? He should of said he’s busy at work, or has a headache or something. Minion keeps talking about how he loves to see his friends around town, and recipes he loves to make or about Megamind and how his happy he’s with Roxanne. Blah blah blah. Uhh this is taking so long! Minion seems nice and all but he just doesn’t realise Bernard’s not the talking type. Wait he must of asked a question because he’s looking at him funny.  
“Uh sorry what was that last thing?”  
“Oh I said. I really am happy for Sir and Mam. Have you got a certain someone special in your life?”  
Bernard saw red. What does it matter if he’s with someone or not? Why does everyone ask him that? A horrible thought dawned on Bernard. What if he thinks this is a date?! People go on coffee dates, don’t they? Oh no! No, no, no! He needs to tell him now.  
“What does it matter, if I’m seeing someone or not! And not that this is any of your business, but I am actually Asexual” Bernard got up “and I would of appreciated being asked if I wanted to go on a coffee date. Not just being suckered into it!” Bernard left, slamming the door behind him.  
Minion caught up to him fast “wait..”  
Bernard cut him off “next time say it how it is, instead of using an excuse of me forgiving you!”

Minion seems a little nervous and spoke fast “I’m so sorry, there’s been a misunderstanding! I didn’t sucker you into a coffee date. That’s honestly not how I get dates off people. And I didn’t know you were asexual?”  
Bernard sighed dramatically, then using a flat tone “yes I’m asexual. No, I have never had sex. Yes I’m sure I wouldn’t like it, even though I’ve never had it. I’ve also never been gone sky diving without a parachute, doesn’t mean I’m going to try it”  
Minion laughed “no I wasn’t going to ask all of that. I’m actually asexual myself”  
Bernard controlled his face to show the same, I don’t care look, but deep down, he was surprised about this. He thought about it before asking suspiciously “wait, we are the only 2 people who are asexual in Metro city, and we found each other? I don’t buy it. Did someone tell you about me? Was this a set-up? You said it wasn’t a date. As I said, I don’t like to be lied to!”  
Minion actually seems upset “It wasn’t a set up! This wasn’t a coffee date! I don’t even know you. I’m sorry, this whole thing has gone really wrong. Look the truth is, you were right, I did have a hidden agenda. I heard you are re-doing the wing in the museum for Megamind? To update it, now that he’s a hero. And well, I was wondering, can I please help? You don’t have to pay me. And I already have some ideas. Also there are other asexuals in Metrocity. We met online, and now we meet up for coffee about once a month. They are lovely to talk to, and it’s nice to be able to talk to people who feel similar to how I feel. You should come, next time?”

Bernard felt a little silly, but won’t let Minion see that’s how he feels, so he says in a flat tone “I’m going to start planning that wing tomorrow, I’ll see you at 9am” and leaves the fish alien on the sidewalk. Wow, what a weird day?


	2. Chapter 2

It’s 9.10am and Minion is already ready to leave. He arrived on time at 9am, in a really good mood. He’s been looking forward to changing that wing of Megamind in Metro museum for ages. He can’t stand the outdated layout and ugly colours. And the facts about Megamind aren’t even all true! At least if it were informative, it would be okay, but it’s not.

But Mr Sourpuss Bernard put a damper on his mood. Minion arrives, and Bernard didn’t even acknowledge he was there. Not even a hello. Just rude! Then Minion notices there’s no chair there for him to sit. So he asks Mr Sourpuss, who just sighs rudely and says it’s in the break room. Then goes back to work, like Minion knows where the break room is. Not wanting to be a bother, he goes and looks for this break room. It’s been almost 10 minutes now, and Minion sadly is thinking of just calling it a day, when he finally finds the break room, and a chair. Finally! 

Once back in Bernards office, Minion sits down on his chair triumphantly. Still no acknowledgement from the other. Oh well, he’s just going to have start some conversation. Minion’s proud of his people skills. He’ll have a conversation with just about anyone, but yesterday, at the cafe, Minion found it hard to converse with this sarcastic man. He’d ask questions and would hardly get any answers, or he’d make a sarcastic remark. The only big response he got was when he asked Bernard if he was seeing someone. Minion doesn’t know what exactly had brought that up. He usually doesn’t ask about other people’s love life, unless they seem to want to talk about it, like Megamind does, he can’t seem to stop talking about Roxanne. But why did Minion ask? A thought in the back of his mind said it’s because you find him attractive. But no, that can’t be it right? Well even so, Bernard was so rude to him, that it wouldn’t matter. Minion will have to teach him some manners and how to have a conversation by the time they finish this project. 

Five more minutes went by and Minion couldn’t take it anymore. “How are you Bernard?”  
“Oh just great, I just love coming to work and seeing I have double the workload” his sarcasm was already starting to get to Minion.  
“Well at least you have me here to help you? And I’m not even getting paid for it either”  
“Do you want a medal?”  
Minion didn’t know how to respond to that. He wasn’t expecting a thank you, nor was he doing it for a thank you, but it would of been nice. What was he thinking, this guy doesn’t do nice.

By 10.30am Minion was dying for a coffee, so he asked Bernard if it’s ok if he goes and gets one. Bernard gave him a ‘are you crazy look’ and says “I’m not your boss, do whatever you want, go to the moon for all I care”. Again Minion didn’t know what to say to that. Why can’t Bernard just have a normal conversation?

Minion came back holding 2 coffees. He set one in front of Bernard. “What’s this?” he asked, pointing his pencil at the cup. “A lollipop, what’s it look like? It’s your coffee” Minion probably shouldn’t of stooped to Bernards level of sarcasm but he had the opportunity so why not? Bernard seemed genuinely surprised at this. “But you don’t know how I take it”  
“Large strong soy latte with 4 sugars. I remembered from yesterday” Bernards face still seemed surprised. Minion’s gotta admit, it was a nice change from the usual flat, no expression face he’d pull. “Thanks” he said then took a sip. Wait did that actually happen? Did Mr Sourpuss just say thanks! Minion had a look out the window, but no pigs were flying. Hmm maybe it won’t be so bad working with him?

“You know you’re almost as bad as Megamind with how much sugar you take”

Bernard just grunted in response. Give it time, Minion thought, and he’ll be able to hold a conversation, hopefully. It’s going to be hard to teach him how to converse. Harder than that time he had to break Megamind out of prison, 10 minutes after arriving, and with 20 police officers outside of prison, waiting for Megamind’s or Minion’s next move. They made record time in 8 minutes and 12 seconds. And the cops had no idea. Minion smiled at the memory. He actually misses those challenges. It was fun, and Megamind would be so proud of him. 

Maybe that’s why Minion was so intent on doing this new project at the museum, he needed a new challenge, and he kind of wanted Megamind to say something like Minion you fantastic fish, and give him that huge smile. Don’t get him wrong, he loves that they are heroes now, and he’s so happy that Megamind found love, it’s just well, to be honest Minion misses him. They usually spend so much time together, and now Sir is usually at Roxanne’s, or he’s out being a hero. Minion saw him more when he was a supervillain, and he was supposed to be in prison for most of that time.  
Maybe Minion can ask Megamind for help designing the new wing? Nah, he’s too busy. Hopefully sir will like it though.

Something Bernard said yesterday has been bugging Minion. He has a feeling Bernard won’t like being asked but Minion needs to clarify this “Hey Bernard?”  
Bernard sighed and looked at him. “You know yesterday, when you thought we were on a coffee date...”  
Oh no, Bernard didn’t look happy that this was brought up. Minion continued fast “well when you told me you’re asexual, it sounded as if you don’t date at all?”  
Bernard’s only change of angry face were his eyebrows raised, in surprise. “No, I don’t date, I’m asexual”  
“Yes, I get that you are, but what does that have to do with anything?”  
“Isn’t it obvious?”  
Minion thought about this “no, it’s not”  
“People don’t want to date me because I’m asexual. They want sex, not someone who won’t touch them with a twenty foot pole”  
“Asexuals date all the time”  
“Maybe each other”  
This got Minion a little angry “no, I don’t mean each other, I mean they date people who aren’t asexuals. I’ve dated people who aren’t asexuals”  
“You? You’ve dated before?” Bernard laughed hysterically.  
Wow, this hurt! He is literally laughing at him. All Minion was trying to do was help.

He’s not going to stay here and take this. Minion grabbed his stuff “You! You! Asshole! How dare you laugh at me! I’ve had a loving relationship with a beautiful woman, have you ever even been on a date?! I bet the answer is no, cause the only person you will ever love is yourself!” Minion slammed the door behind him, making it fall off the hinges.

Minion was thankful that living in a tank, meant people couldn’t tell that he was crying. He has a lot of friends in this neighbourhood, he didn’t want to explain that he let this asshole get to him. Also, Minions pretty mad that he swore aloud again. He’s been so good for so long. Back in prison, he’d swear a lot. But since they became young adults, Minion made it a necessity to stop swearing. He found being polite worked better, also people don’t want an angry, scary fish, with sharp teeth and a mechanical, gorilla, robot suit swearing at them. 

Once home, Minion slowly put his stuff down. He was so happy about this new project. Now he has Bernard’s hideous laugh ringing in his head. Minion’s not that bad to date right? He’s been on a lot of dates with both genders. Most dates went very well, and Minion’s still friends with them. He knows it may be weird, him being a space-alien fish in a mechanical suit, but well he liked to think if he found love, they would see past that, right? Minion got in his huge tank that sir built for him. He feels really tired now, like he has no energy. Maybe he’ll try and sleep this off. 

Minion woke when he heard that Megamind was home. He can hear him talking, Roxanne must be there. Her giggle made Minion’s assumption right. He got out of his tank to say hi. 

Minion’s face must of said how he felt because as soon as Sir and Mam saw him, they hurried to his side, asking what’s wrong? Minion told them everything, including how bad yesterday went. 

Roxanne grabbed the keys to the hover bike “I’m going! No one talks to you like that!” “What are you going to do?” Minion asked surprised “Show him that you don’t mess with us! Especially you, Minion. You don’t deserve to feel like this. How dare he make you upset!” She looks at her boyfriend “What do you think darling? I take the hover bike and a brainbot army, and you take spider-bot?” “Why don’t I get the brainbot army, they’re my brainbots” “Because I look better with an army behind me” Megamind’s face showed he was thinking about this “yes, you’re right, as always. Minion will you be ok while we ‘take care’ of this idiot?” Minion shook his head and grabbed their hands “no! You two are not going there to ‘take care’ of anything! He’s honestly not worth it” They seemed unhappy about this, but luckily they listened to him. Roxanne let go of Minions hand and gave him a hug. “I’m so sorry, you’ve had a bad day! What would you like to do, we’ll do anything you want tonight?” Minion looked over at Megamind to confirm this “yes Minyon Filet, we’ll do whatever you want. 

They ordered pizza, and played board games. Megamind was caught cheating during Monopoly, but still lost. Roxanne and Minion laughed at this. Minion was surprised how fast he felt better. He was lucky to have his little family. His thoughts drifted to tomorrow. What’s he going to do? Maybe he can find another fun project to do? Where there aren’t sarcastic, mean people there. 


	3. Chapter 3

Bernard can’t stop thinking. Bernard can’t stop thinking of a certain alien fish. Bernard can’t stop thinking about how much of an asshole he was to that alien fish. Why? Why did he laugh for? Who does that? Minion was actually being nice to him, who knows why? And Bernard had to go and ruin it. Just like he ruins everything. Maybe they could of actually been friends? 

He doesn’t completely know what brought his reaction to finding out Minion dated. Maybe deep down he was upset because literally everyone goes on dates but him. What’s wrong with him? Why can’t he just be like everyone else? Most people don’t use sarcasm as their only language. Most people actually show emotion on their face. Most people don’t laugh when people talk about going on dates, even if that person is an alien fish. Then again most people actually go on dates. Bernard is not like most people. He wishes he was. He wishes he could just go on dates and be like ‘yea I’m asexual, what are you going to do about it?’ But he can’t. He can’t face the questions. He can’t face the rejection. 

Bernard looked at the time again and groaned. 2.35am. This is bullshit. Why can’t he just sleep? He keeps seeing the hurt on Minion’s face. 

Can Minion cry? Bernard’s always been curious about the fish alien. While doing his research for Megamind, he’d also tried to study Minion as well, but found nothing. When they went out for coffee, Bernard was surprised that Minion actually brought his mechanical arm up to the top of the tank. Then swam up and drank it, while out of the water. How long can Minion last outside of water? This is they type of question he could of asked if he didn’t just ruin any chance of a friendship. And he feels like maybe they could of actually been friends. Ah who was he kidding, he doesn’t do friends. They always take and take and take and never give back. There’s no point. Bernard was happy being a lone wolf. Is happy the right word though? Maybe content? He was a lone wolf, doesn’t matter if he’s happy or content. That’s what he is, that’s what he’ll always be. 

Bernard lifted his arms up in anger. He laughed at someone! This is not ok! He keeps seeing what happened today from a different point of view in his office. Like watching a movie. He keeps seeing his hideous face, and awful laugh. He keeps imagining the camera at a bad angle in the movie. He’d be the villain, if it were a movie. Maybe it would be one of those movies where you can just rip someone’s heart out with their bare hands. He may as well of done that. He hates himself so much right now. 

The ironic thing is Bernard has always felt like a completely different species to everyone else, like he was the alien. When he was younger, he’d wish some aliens would come down, and say we are your real family, come with us. Deep down, Bernard’s jealous that Minion is more human than him. He feels like the humans have accepted him as their own, leaving the alien Bernard out. They were only at the cafe for 20 minutes and Minion said hi to 10 people. He’d see the moment they realised that Minion was sitting there, they would all be so happy to see him. He’d get up and give them a hug, and make small talk. Then they would turn and see who he was with, they’d recognise Bernard and their faces would change. Their eyebrows would rise as if to say, you’re having coffee with him, seriously? They would try and act polite still, but he saw it, he saw how disappointed they’d be that Minion wasn’t with a more friendlier person, someone less alien. 

2.42am. He’s going to die alone. Without even one friend. Because he’s an asshole who laughs at people. He can’t imagine what he would of done if it were the other way around. How mad he would be if someone laughed at him. This is not ok! What he did is not ok. He wishes he could go back to earlier this morning. Or back to when he was a kid. Re-do a lot of things. Maybe actually make some friends?

Who was he kidding, he’d always be the same. 2.44am. He hates this. He can’t keep doing this. He needs to make this right. Could he? Could he actually be human and apologise? Minion wouldn’t forgive him. Who could blame him. He laughed at someone. Bernard’s heart beat fast, as tears finally made their way down. This is not ok.


	4. Chapter 4

Bernard threw another scrunched up paper ball in the bin. Why does he keep making mistakes? He’s had hardly any sleep, and he can’t stop thinking about Minion. Why isn’t he here? Well he knows why he isn’t, but Bernard thought maybe he’d come. He could of at least come and make him feel guilty for being an arse. But Minion’s not petty like that. Bernard’s gotta admit, he admires him for it. 

But still, Minion made such a big deal about helping with the new wing for Megamind, that Bernard is surprised he isn’t here now. Is he so bad to work with that he can’t even get the nicest alien to work with him for a full day? That feeling hit him hard in his chest. Without over thinking it, for once, Bernard grabbed his coat, and went out to find the alien fish. 

First he tried the coffee shop they went to. Minion seemed to know the barista. There’s one person at the counter, so Bernard waited for them to make their order. When it came to Bernard’s turn, the lady recognised him and started putting in his order. “No, sorry I’m actually here to ask you something” the look on her face was of pure shock. Well he can’t blame her, he doesn’t think he’s ever said more than his order and a thank you.  
“Do you know where Minion is?” As soon as he said Minion’s name, her face lit up in a smile.  
“Oh. No sorry, sometimes he goes to the library after he comes here. But he hasn’t come yet, which is weird”  
Bernard thanked her and headed to the library. 

The librarian saw Bernard, then went back to her work. “Ah excuse me” another surprised face  
“Have you seen Minion at all” another smile at Minion’s name.  
“Oh you know Minion! He’s such a lovely boy, so sweet. He always listens to my stories. Are you his boyfriend? I keep telling him he needs to find someone.”  
“Oh, ah... no. No. No. We aren’t together. I just need to find him” Bernard could feel his face heat up.  
“Try the park” she said, a little less nice.  
Okay, that was weird? Oh well, hopefully he’s at the park. 

Bernard went around the whole park before he finally saw a gorilla looking mechanical suit sitting against a tree. 

Minion’s reading some worn out book. He doesn’t look up. “Hey Minion”  
He looks up, gives him a dirty look, then goes back to his book.  
“I came to apologise”  
The snap of his book being closed made Bernard jump. Minion got up, so he is now towering over Bernard.  
“You came to apologise?! Look I know everyone thinks of me as Megamind’s henchman, who will just take anyone’s shit. But I’m not like that! I know it seems like Megamind is demanding and I’ll just do whatever he says, but it’s not like that. He gives as much as he takes. He’s literally saved my life countless times. And YOU, you’re just some almost stranger, who has absolutely NO RIGHT to treat me like shit!!”  
Bernard took a step back “you’re right. I’m so sorry! I was a complete asshole to you. You didn’t deserve it! And I don’t think of you as just Megamind’s henchman. I don’t think anyone does. Do you realise how much people like you in this town? You have an affect on them.” You have an affect on me, Bernard wants to say, but bites his tongue, and continues “You’re annoyingly friendly, but umm.. I would like to be friends, if you would?”  
Minion seems mad still, but he’s thinking about it, so that’s something.  
“I don’t know what came over me yesterday, but I really am sorry. I will never be that much of an asshole again. And also, I would really like your help with the museum. Your ideas are really great.” 

Minion doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t just want to forgive him, like his feelings mean nothing. But he seems really sincere. He wonders if this is the real Bernard? The sarcasm definitely isn’t. That’s just a wall, a cover up, to hide himself from the world. Minion’s not stupid. He’s studied humans, observing their personalities. And he’s a little curious about the real Bernard. Although he’s liking the pleading look in Bernards eyes, it’s kinda cute, to see some personality in them for a change, but he better put him out of his misery. 

“Ok I forgive you. But only if you come with me to the movies?” Bernard gave a questionable look “it’s just that I’ve never been. I couldn’t go when I was a supervillain’s henchman, and I’ve been meaning to go, since Megamind became a hero”  
“Okay”  
“Wait, really?”  
Bernard gave a little chuckle “yea I’ll go with you”  
“But don’t worry, it’s not a date” Minion pointed out  
Bernard waited for the relief feeling to come, but it didn’t. That was weird.  
“Ok uh thanks. So you’ll come back to work with me?”  
Minion nodded his tank and the face of his fish body at the same time.  
“Oh good! Um I heard you haven’t had a coffee yet, would you like one?” Minion finally smiled “sure I would like one, stalker” Bernard’s face went red “I didn’t.. ok I stalked you. Well I couldn’t call you, and I didn’t know where you were”  
“Oh, we should exchange numbers” Minion said in his usually perky voice. As Bernard got out his phone, he let out a breath, he didn’t realise he was holding. Everything feels less heavy now.

They bought their coffee and went back to the museum to start on the new wing. Afternoon came by fast. Bernard drew up the layout, while Minion told him where to put everything.  
“No, don’t put the waterfall there” Minion started looking for an eraser. He couldn’t find one on the desk.  
“Try the first drawer” Bernard suggested  
Minion did as told. Something caught his eye, it’s his name, what? “What’s this?” He asked while picking it up. Bernard looked at it and went bright red “it’s nothing” he said as he tried to grab it. He wasn’t fast enough, and Minion is now reading it:

Minion, Megamind’s henchman  
-maybe brother, Uncle, or friend? Could be a special alien bond.  
-has a fish body with a mechanical gorilla suit  
-can talk, speaks English very well  
-grew up in prison  
-beat up a prison mate who was harassing Megamind  
-helps kidnap Roxanne Ritchi  
-involved in Megamind’s underground illegal business  
-helped Megamind secretly give the children’s hospital $30,000  
-has a disguise watch  


Questions I could ask:  
-how does he eat and drink  
-brushes his teeth  
-does he sleep for 8hrs  
-why did he come to earth  
-are there others here on earth  
-will there be others  


Minion’s mouth is wide open. Oh this is extremely embarrassing “look you know how I study Megamind. Well I studied you as well. I was actually going to put a new wing of you in the museum, before you put me in the washing machine and hit me in the head.”  
Minion seemed to get out of his shocked daze “wow really? A wing of me? That would of been awesome!”  
Bernard could only look into Minion’s eyes of pure joy, as he said “We still can, if you like?”.  
Minion’s mouth somehow got even bigger “yea I will like that! That would be amazing!” Minion grabbed Bernard with his mechanical arms and squashed him in a hug. Bernard could hardly breathe, but it felt nice, really nice.


	5. Chapter 5

Bernard’s feeling pretty nervous. He’s waiting for Minion outside the movie theatre. He hopes what he’s wearing is ok. It took him ages to figure out what to wear. It’s not a date, he keeps reminding himself. And again waits for the relief, but it’s not relief. He kinda wishes.. oh he’s just being silly. 

Bernard’s heartbeat picked up when he sees the alien fish. “Hey stalker!” Minion said as he waved.  
“Ah, wha- I’m not a stalker” Bernard said as Minion gave a huge smile then pretended to think “hmm well you did stalk me to the park today, then I found a note in your drawer stating facts about me, soo.. yea you’re a stalker”. 

Bernard’s face is bright red. How does he respond to that? Minion laughed “it’s ok! You can stalk me any time you like” Bernard didn’t think it was possible but his face got even more hot. “Let’s go buy the tickets” he said fast and walked towards the counter, leaving Minion there. Minion caught up in two strides. “Hey wait up! It’s my first time remember?”

Something caught Bernard’s eye, and he looked closely to see “is that a bow tie?” Minion gave a shy look “I didn’t know what people wore to the movies! And Megamind was out with Roxanne. I figured I better play it safe, and wear one just in case.” The bow tie is hot pink and around his mechanical neck.  
“People don’t usually wear bow ties to the movies, but don’t worry it looks cu.. okay.” That was a close one.  
Minion smiled “thanks stalker” what was Bernard getting himself into?

They sat down in the cinema, holding way too many snacks for a 90 minute film. Bernard’s feeling pretty excited “I actually haven’t been to the movies in ages”  
“Oh really?”  
“Yea, I usually just watch them at home”  
“What genre do you like?”  
“Oh anything, a lot of times I just choose a good rom-com”  
Minion gave a surprised look “what you like rom-coms?”  
“Yea why?”  
“I just didn’t have you pegged as a rom-com guy. I figured you would like only action movies, you know tough guys doing tough things, with some babe on her side” he said this in a mocking tone.  
Bernard laughed “seriously? Do you have me pegged as some typical straight guy, who only likes cars and boobs?”  
Minion gave a sheepish look “well yea”  
Bernard laughed “I hate to break it to you, but I’m not your typical guy, and I’m not straight either. I’m bi.” Minions cheeks are bright red “oh sorry”  
“I can’t believe you stereotyped me! I’m almost offended” Bernard said in a playful tone.  
“I really am sorry”  
“You can make it up to me by sharing the malteasers, you’re hogging it” Bernard grabbed the chocolate out of Minion’s lap.

“Okay, so if this was a date, what would be a Minion move to make?”  
“Oh well as you know, I’ve never been to the movies. But I saw a move on a tv show that I would try.” Minion yawned and moved his arm on Bernard’s shoulder.  
Bernard laughed really loudly “No! You would not use the yawn move! That is ridiculous and outdated!”  
“I’m sure it will work!” Minion said, taking his arm off Bernard “When I get all the ladies and guys then you’ll be sorry you didn’t steal my awesome move!”  
Bernard laughed “well IF that happens, then I’ll be sorry. Of course I’ll be up a few seats back watching you, because I’m such a stalker” Bernard’s smile got even bigger as Minion’s laughter rang in the cinema. Lucky the movie hasn’t started yet. 

The previews began and Bernard pointed out a movie he wants to see. “Let’s come again and watch it next time?” Minion asked. “Sure I would like that” Bernard said softly.

The movie was a superhero action film. “Did you like it?” Minion asked when the movie was over. “Yea it was good, not enough cars and boobs though”  
Minion laughed “you’ll never let me live that down will you?”  
Bernard pretended to think “hmm, no, I will not” his smile growing huge. He didn’t think he’d have this much fun with Minion. They got ice cream and walked around the park.  
“The sex scene was a bit much, don’t you think?” Bernard asked.  
“Yea it was”  
“Why do they have to do a like 10 minute sex scene. And during the whole movie, the main girl character is just there to look sexy. And make sexy comments. Why can’t she have as much of a storyline as the male characters? I feel like they just put these girls in for the boys to look at” Bernard asked sounding a bit angry.  
“I don’t know. Some directors have noticed this and are changing, but you still get some old cliche storylines like this one, which can be sexist.”  
“Does it bother you that so many movies and tv shows have a lot of sex scenes?”  
“Not really, I mean, just because people like you and I don’t like it, that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t show it. I feel like it’s not our place to be like oh I don’t like this, don’t do this. It’s like when people have a problem with the LGBQT community, they shouldn’t have a problem with them, because it literally has nothing to do with them.”  
Oh, he hadn’t thought of it like that. “You’re right” “I’m always right” Minion said with a grin on his face.  


It started sprinkling, so they decided to call it a night. Minion looked like he was going to hug Bernard. So Bernard, feeling awkward, gave him an awkward hand shake and quickly got in the taxi.


	6. Chapter 6

It’s been a week since their ‘non date’ and they were making good progress on Megamind’s new wing. But Bernard still has Minion’s wing to do. Even though Minion knows he’s going to make one, Bernard still wants it to be a surprise. He doesn’t know why. Maybe it’ll be nice to see the look on the fish’s face when it’s done. 

Minion said he has some errands to do after work, so Bernard figured it’s a good time to go back to evil lair and see if Megamind can help answer some questions for Minion’s wing. He’s still a little scared of Megamind, but the blue alien is a hero now, so it should be ok?

It’s weird being back at evil lair, Bernard really hopes he doesn’t end up back in that washing machine, that was beyond horrible! He knocked on the wall that has a mat saying ‘secret entrance’. Megamind opened it, looked at him and yelled “you’re not going to like this babe”  
Roxanne came in no time “what are you doing here!”  
Bernard wasn’t expecting that tone. “Oh sorry, I would just like your help with something”  
“We know how you laughed at Minion you asshole! You’re lucky that Minion’s so sweet, otherwise for the rest of your life, you wouldn’t of been able to laugh at all!”  
“I’m sorry. I apologised to Minion. You’re right, I was an asshole! We’re friends now. I would never hurt him again. Look I’m going to make a wing of him in the museum. And I’m just here to get some facts right. But you don’t have to help. Either way, I’ll be making this wing. Minion deserves a part of the museum dedicated to him. He’s done so much for the city, and he thinks people just see him as your (gestured to Megamind) henchman. He’s so much more than that! People need to see it! He needs to see it!”

The other two stood in the doorway with their mouths open. Finally Megamind snapped out of it and gestured for Bernard to come inside.  
Roxanne spoke with a dark tone “We will help you, but if you hurt him again, I will come after you! And believe me, you DO NOT want that! Okay?”  
Bernard nodded his head, he was too scared to say anything right now. She’s scary! But he supposed not just anyone can go out with Megamind. She’s just as tough as him, probably more tough actually. Definitely more scary.

10 minutes later and being in the washing machine wasn’t looking too bad! These two are so annoying! Oh darling, and here babe, and the giggling! The pet names were bad enough, but the giggling! Oh and the way they look at each other! Bernard wanted to be sick! He had to bite his tongue though, he doesn’t think Minion would be happy if he said what he was thinking right now. How does Minion put up with it? He has to take Minion out more, just to get him away from all (looks at Megamind give Roxanne a peck on the cheek) of that! Poor Minion! 

Speaking of Minion, he’s just walked through the door. Oh crap! Minion looks at the three of them.  
“Hey.. Bernard?” Bernard can see the question in his eyes, the what are you doing here question.  
“Hey Minion, I was just leaving”  
Minion gave him a cheeky smile and said “your stalking is getting worse” Bernard’s face went so red, he looked over at the annoying couple, who are now looking at him, and smiling. And this is so awkward! “Umm I’ve gotta go” he walked so fast out of there. Crap, he forgot to tell him to meet at the construction site tomorrow. He’ll have to text him later.

Bernard had a shower, then worked up the courage to text Minion. Bernard doesn’t text much, but still would rather text then call. His anxiety is always worse when he’s on the phone. What do people talk about? At least with texting, you can think about what you’re going to say.  
“Hey Minion, just letting you know that we’ll be at the construction site tomorrow, to see how this is all going”  
He got a text back immediately “sure thing boss”  
“Not your boss”  
“Ok Bernie”  
“It’s Bernard.”  
“Whatever you say nardi”  
“That’s not even a good nickname!”  
“Aww don’t be like that Ernie!”  
“I feel like you’re doing this on purpose” Bernard texted while laughing.  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about B”  
“You’ve run out of nicknames haven’t you?”  
“I haven’t... Berwhatsyourname”  
“Oh come on, you can do better than that?”  
“Ok challenge accepted”  
“.....”  
“.....”  
“You have nothing, don’t you?”  
“It’s coming. I’m almost there. How about...”  
“Just give up. All your nicknames were horrible anyway”  
“I’ll think of one! Even if it takes me all night!”  
“Don’t do that, go to sleep”  
“No, I don’t want to. I need to think of a nickname for my boss”  
“Not your boss”  
“...”  
“Also you don’t need to wear a bow tie to the construction site”  
“Ha ha, you’re so funny”  
“I can’t help it! Stop procrastinating and go to sleep”  
“Gee you’re such a mean boss! Megamind was a supervillain and he wasn’t that mean”  
Bernard laughed “go to sleep or you’re fired”  
“You can’t fire me, I quit! Ok see you tomorrow”  
Bernard laughed again “see you then, maybe wear a red bow tie this time”  
“I will, and I’ll look good in it! All the ladies will love it”  
“Good, then you can do your yawn move on them, and scare them away”  
“Hey, don’t knock the yawn move! You didn’t get to experience it properly last time, it was my first go. Next time, you’ll see”  
Bernard giggled. What was that? Lucky no one was here to hear him giggle like a teenage girl. Ah what was this alien doing to him!  
“Fine, I’ll see next time. Get some sleep, night”  
“Goodnight”

In the morning Minion came to the site wearing a hard helmet on his tank head, and a red bow tie. Bernard saw it and cracked up laughing. 

A construction worker came up to Minion and they talked for a few minutes. Finally he waved good bye and went back to work “seriously do you know everybody?” Bernard asked  
“Oh no. He was a prison mate. Nice guy. Oh sorry, I shouldn’t of talked while on the job, boss” Minion said with a cheeky smile.  
Bernard groaned “I’m not your boss”  
Minion laughed.  
“By the way, how do you put up with the blue alien and reporter?” Bernard asked  
“Megamind and Roxanne? What do you mean?”  
“They are just too much! They’re such a... a couple! With the holding hands and kissing, so gross”  
Minion laughed “of course you wouldn’t like two people falling in love”  
“Oh I’m all for love, but does it have to be right in my face?”  
“They can be a bit much sometimes. But they’re cute”  
“Ahh” Bernard waved a hand dismissively  
“Oh does Bernie Ernie have a problem with couples?” Minion asked in a cutsie voice  
“Don’t you dare!”  
“Oh what’s wrong Bernie Ernie”  
“You are so annoying”  
“I can’t help” before he could finish his sentence something squeaked and headed towards them. Before Bernard realised what was happening, Minion was standing in front of him, with a pocket knife in hand and ready to use.  
A rat came out and ran away. Minion turned around and gave an embarrassed look “sorry, growing up in a prison and being an evil henchman means you’re always ready for anything”  
“Oh that’s okay, uh thanks” Bernard didn’t know how to feel. No one has ever looked out for him before. He has a confused feeling in his chest. This is weird, this whole thing is weird.  
“Maybe we should get back to work?” Minion suggested  
“Yea, let’s do that”


	7. Chapter 7

Bernard has been quiet for most of the day. Minion noticed and asked if he’s really scared of rats “uh yea, it’s just that I’m terrified of them, that’s all” he is scared of them, but this feeling isn’t because of the rats. This feeling is new and weird, and Bernard doesn’t like it. 

He’s been spending a lot of time with Minion lately, and maybe he should not see him as much? It’s just, he’ll leave eventually, everyone does, who enters his life. So why wait? Right? Thinking about it makes Bernard feel more lonely than before.

Bernard groaned, he’s in way too deep. This isn’t good! Only bad things can come of this. What does he do? Just say how he feels and then lose Minion? No! Minion’s the only friend he has, he can’t lose him. 

Ok, ok, he needs to think of something else. Anything else. But he’s at home right now, and he needs to work on the wing for Minion. Bernard put his hands on his face, then ran them through his hair. He really is a stalker and obsessed with this fish alien. 

A thought creeped up and Bernard really wished it hadn’t. What if Minion is like this with all of his friends, what if the, what would you call it.. banter? Or teasing? What if all of that was just Minion being friendly. And silly Bernard actually had to have feelings for him instead of just joking around. This is just great! And Minion really hasn’t hinted anything about having any feelings for him. When Bernard thought having coffee was a date, Minion was quick to say no it wasn’t. How ironic that now Bernard actually wants to go on a date. Bernard laughed one single, sad laugh. This is so him. 

But he really wants to do this wing for Minion. He doesn’t have much time. He can’t not do it because of some silly feelings, right? Okay, he’s going to start drawing up the wing. Now that he has facts from Megamind, Roxanne and the stuff he’s learnt on his own. He can get started on it. He’s going to stop thinking about Minion in that way, and think of this new wing. Yea. He’s happy about that. Good idea. Work is always a good distraction.

His phone buzzed. It’s a text from Minion that says “lucky you’re not here watching this movie, you’ll absolutely love this (then a wink face emoji).” And another text came, of a recording, of a scene from some movie. There’s a couple on it and they’re using a cutesy voice and calling each other silly nicknames. Bernard laughed, then typed “where was the warning? I almost puked on my phone!”. Minion typed back straight away “Lol, I knew you would love it (emoji with tongue out).” Ah he’s cheeky! Minion sent another text asking what’s he’s up to. They texted all night, until it was time to go to bed. 

The next day around 10am Minion disappeared for about half an hr. He came back with 2 slices of cake and 2 spoons, handing one to Bernard. “Seriously? Where do you always get these cakes from?” Almost every day he will randomly bring some cake for them. “There’s no way there’s that many parties going on in this office?” Minion gave a sheepish look “well I have a lot of friends, there’s always someone near by that has an office work party”  
“so you just go around crashing other office parties?”  
“Hey, they invite me”  
“You are incredibly social, you know that?”  
“Well you are extremely anti-social”  
Bernard smiled “that’s how I like it. Besides you’re the only one worth talking to” Bernard realised what he said as soon as he said it, stopped eating and looked at Minion. Oh crap.  
Minion gave a huge smile “I like talking to you as well” Bernard smiled and kept eating his cake. 

Around 11am Minion sighed dramatically “I’m so bored!”  
“Then do some work” Bernard said without looking up from the papers he’s working on.  
“That’s borrriinng! Let’s go do something!”  
“What? We’re working”  
“But we’re ahead of schedule. And we’ve been doing a lot of overtime”  
Bernard gave the fish alien a ‘are you serious look’. “Ok YOU’VE been doing a lot of overtime, but I’ve been here keeping you company, and that’s a lot of work as well” Minion said  
“What do you want to do” Bernard asked a little shyly  
“Anything”  
“Hmm... Metro festival is in town, we can go there?”  
“What’s that again?”  
“It has rides like the Ferris wheel, and bumper cars. And you can play games to win prizes. Have you been?”  
“No, not unless you count the time Megamind and I crashed it, to kidnap Roxanne”  
“We should go! You’ll love it. It has cotton candy”  
“Oh I’m definitely in, if there’s cotton candy.”  
“I knew that would win you over” Bernard said with a laugh. Bernard grabbed his coat and they made their way to the festival.

There was a nice breeze in the air as the boys walked around the festival. Bernard’s gotta admit, he’s really happy he thought of this place. Minion seems so happy! How has he never been? Bernard’s kinda glad that he gets to experience these first things with him. Minion gets all cute, when he’s happy. Does he know how Bernard feels about him? It doesn’t matter now. Now all Bernard wants to do is see this fish alien smile. His feelings can wait for another day. They started with the room that has lots of funny mirrors. Then went on a ride that goes around in a circle really fast. Bernard felt a little queasy after, with bad flashbacks of being in the washing machine. “Sorry” Minion apologised. “It’s ok, at least when I came out of this, I didn’t get hit in the head”  
“You remember that?” Minion asked  
“Yea, why do you think I’m staying on your good side now?” Bernard said with a laugh.  
“Oh, I’m sorry about that” then he said more quietly “the forget me stick didn’t work”  
Bernard laughed. Forget me stick? Who is this guy?

Next they played some games.  
“You’re way too good at that” Bernard said to Minion. They played a ring toss game, and Minion got every one! He won a huge pink gorilla teddy, that he’s now hugging. “I think it’s from being an evil henchman for so long, you get a skill of accuracy, you don’t want to miss your target.”  
“Oh” Bernard can’t help feel relieved that Minion’s not an evil henchman anymore. Especially if it means he could go back to prison or worse, get hurt.  
Bernard put those thoughts out of his mind as they started to play the game where you put balls in the clown’s mouth that moves side to side. 

Surprisingly Bernard actually won. He usually doesn’t win anything. The worker gave Bernard his prize. It’s a little rubber duck. “Here, you have it” he said awkwardly to Minion.  
“No, it’s yours, you won it”  
“That’s ok, I want you to have it”  
“Oh uh thanks” Minion said with a little smile on his face.

They sat down to eat their cotton candy. “I’m glad we came here” Minion said with a happy, content smile on his face.  
“Me too. I can’t believe we ditched work! You are such a bad influence on me”  
“Me? I’m the polite alien fish, you’re the sarcastic big meanie whose a bad influence on me.”  
Bernard laughed “big meanie? What are we, in primary school”  
“Yea uh”  
Bernard laughed again. Why is he never the sarcastic big meanie when he’s with Minion? He’s always this smiley, goofy person.   
They played some more games then went on some rides. The small roller coaster was fun but still scary. Minion could just fit next to Bernard, with his mechanical suit. They were squeezed together, and Bernard’s gotta admit, it’s nice to have an excuse to touch his arm. The fur on his suit is nice and soft. 

Next they went on the Ferris wheel. They sat next to each other, with the gorilla teddy Minion won, on both their laps. Bernard got a little nervous when they were up high, but Minion distracted him by making him laugh.

When they got off the Ferris wheel, some yellow smoke appeared in the sky. Suddenly a huge projection screen came out of nowhere. And on it is some random villain? He’s wearing a dark blue hat with a yellow lightning bolt on it.

“Citizens of Metro city.... my name. Is. Mr lightening. I have taken your... mayor....”

“Seriously, can he talk any slower?” Bernard asked.  
Minion laughed  
“You will bow to me... as I’ll be your... new evil.. overlord (evil laugh)  
“Is this guy for real?” Bernard asked.  
“Apparently so.”

“Whose going to stop me? ....Megamind? (Evil laugh) He doesn’t stand a chance.... as my power is....  
“Lightening” Bernard said in a dull voice, at the same time as Mr lightening did  
“Obviously” Bernard said as he rolled his eyes.  
Minion gave a little chuckle.  
“Don’t get a villain... to do a hero’s job... Bye for now.. puny citizens.” The villain finished  
“Ok gotta go, duty calls” Minion said in his usual perky voice.  
“What? You can’t go” Bernard said grabbing Minion’s arm.  
“I have to go. Megamind needs me.”  
“But, his power is lightening.”  
“I know.” Minion said in a isn’t that obvious tone.  
“You can’t just go! You could get hurt!”  
“I’ll be fine”  
“What are you going to do? Stab him with that little knife that you have?”  
“No. I am plenty of help, thank you very much! Look I can’t talk about this, I’ve gotta go.”  
“But you’re just going to leave” Bernard hated the way it sounded, so broken and with way too much feeling.  
“I’m sorry. I’ll talk to you later”

And just like that Bernard was left there, alone, holding the pink gorilla teddy that Minion left behind as well.


	8. Chapter 8

Bernard stood there for a few minutes, clutching the pink gorilla to his chest. Deep down, he’s hoping, really hoping, Minion will come back. Say something like you’re right, it’s dangerous, then give him one of his cute smiles and tease him a little. Maybe call him a stalker or something. But he’s still gone. And Bernard can’t help the horrible thoughts going through his mind right now.

Minion will arrive and Mr Lightening will strike him straight away, or the villain will shoot Minion’s tank, and he’ll be out of water and suffocate. Bernard’s breathing became heavier. Why does it feel like the festival is getting smaller? He needs to get away.

His feet finally started to move, and Bernard made his way back to work. He can’t do this, he can’t get hurt again. He can’t handle being left alone. Again. This isn’t the same. Minion doesn’t owe him anything. It’s not Minions fault that he has abandonment issues. Bernard knows whose fault that is. But this isn’t about him. This is about the ache in his chest, the one that he thought went away, but maybe it never did? 

Bernard keeps seeing Minion lying there, out of his tank and helpless. 

And the worse thing about all of this is, does Bernard even have a right to be mad? He cant just tell Minion he thinks he should quit. Friends are supposed to support each other. Is he being selfish?

Bernard put his head on the desk. Why does everything suck? Why can’t he just be normal. Have a normal friend and no strange feelings towards them. 

Maybe if he had a normal childhood, he’d be normal now? Well he knows whose fault that is. But this isn’t about him. It’s never about him. Ah he needs to stop thinking about all of this. It’s in the past now

He really hopes Minion is ok. The truth is, he’s scared. And he hasn’t been this scared, maybe ever?

Some time went by, Bernard’s not sure how much exactly. Then something got his attention and he looked up as Minion walked in the door.

“You’re okay” he said in a quiet breath. Minion must of heard as he responded “yea, why wouldn’t I be?”  
“Why? Because you fucking just walked into a fight with someone with fucking Lightening powers! That’s why! What the fuck!”  
“Oh Mr Lightening? We’ve had worse people try to kill us. This is nothing”  
“That was not fucking nothing!”  
“Are you mad?” Then added more quietly “but I did good”  
“Of course I’m mad, we were having a nice time on our dat- day at the festival, and you ditched me to go and almost get yourself killed”  
“Okay, first of all, I didn’t almost get myself killed. Megamind had the whole thing under control. And the villain didn’t stand a chance once we let Roxanne loose on him.” Minion smiled, then noticed Bernard still looking like he’s about to burst into flames and stopped smiling.  
“And second of all... I really am sorry about ditching you, I was having a great day out as well. I honestly didn’t want to go” he added more quickly  
“Then why did you?”  
“I don’t know.” Minion said, shrugging his mechanical shoulders. “I didn’t even consider there being an option where I didn’t go. Megamind needs me. I have to make sure he gets home okay. I’ve always protected him”  
“But what about you?”  
“Sorry I’m not following”  
“Who protects you”  
Minion opened his mouth to say something, then closed it. 

He’s so confused. Why is Bernard so mad? He just helped save the city from a villain. A mediocre villain, but he’s still evil. At least Megamind had some class when he was evil. And taste. That hat was hideous. 

Bernard just doesn’t understand, this is his purpose in life. To protect Megamind. Always. Yea he would like to not have to worry about joining these fights. They get pretty repetitive after a while. “I’m evil, I’ve kidnapped so and so, blah blah blah” ah it’s always the same. Minion thought now that they weren’t evil, he wouldn’t have to worry about all of this, but it’s actually more fights. Every villain thinks now that Metro Man’s gone, they can rule the city. Why do they even want the city? When they ruled it, it got boring fast. 

Bernard’s still waiting for an answer. How is he supposed to respond? Who looks out for him? Who cares, he wants to say. Why do you care so much? What happened to the Bernard who didn’t care about anything. 

Realising he isn’t going to get an answer, Bernard grabs his jacket to leave.  
“Are we okay?” Minion asks, then feels silly, cause there isn’t a ‘we’. That implies more than a friendship. But surprisingly Bernard responds with a “Yea, we’re okay” then leaves. 

Did he mean that? Did he just say it to make him feel better? Left alone in the room, there wasn’t a response when Minion said “but I did good”.


	9. Chapter 9

The next morning, Minion made his way to their, well Bernard’s, office.  
“Good morning, how are- wait you have a coffee?”  
Minion said as Bernard took the drink to his lips  
“Yea why?”  
“We always get coffee together”  
“Oh uh sorry”

How could he? They always walk down there together, get a take away coffee. Then come back up, and procrastinate a little, laughing about silly things, telling each other every day things about life. Then finally start some work. That’s routine. That’s what they do. And now Bernard has his own coffee and is actually starting work already.

Minion felt worse when he went down to the coffee shop.  
“Hey where’s you’re little friend?” The barista asked  
“He already started work. Busy. You know how it is” Minion really hopes the sound in his voice doesn’t sound too hurt. It must of, because the barista gave him a sympathetic look as she made his coffee. 

Minion felt betrayed again when it came to lunch time  
“What do you mean, you brought your own lunch? We always go get lunch together”  
“I felt like a home made sandwich”  
“I would of made you one” he said softly. Some days Minion made them sandwiches. Bernard always scoffed it down, praising him the whole time. 

The worse thing about today was Bernard hardly talked to him. He missed the conversation. The banter. The fun! Bernard was just so cold towards him.

Minion spent the afternoon, after work wondering what to do. Should he apologise? He already did though. He can’t take this anymore. He needs to talk to him. Before he could think about it too much, he grabbed his phone and started to dial. By the second ring, Minion remembered how Bernard doesn’t like to talk on the phone.  
“Hello”  
“Hey Bernard, sorry I forgot that you don’t like when people call you. I’ll hang up.”  
“No” he said urgently, then more calm “it’s okay. I can talk”  
“Oh are you sure?”  
“Yea” there’s a break in the conversation.  
“What are you up to?” Bernard asked  
“Nothing. How about you?”

“Same. I’m sorry about being so cold today”  
“Oh, that’s okay.”  
“How do you get your sandwiches to taste so good? Mine was pretty crap.”  
Minion laughed “one day, I’ll show you”  
“Please”  
“I’ve missed you” Minion said softly  
“You saw me today” He could hear the smile in Bernard’s voice.  
“Wasn’t the same”  
“Nah it wasn’t. I’ve missed you too. Can we never fight again?”  
“Unfortunately, I can’t promise that. When two people spend so much time together, they’re going to end up arguing. There’s nothing wrong with that..”  
“Do you think we spend too much time together?” Bernard asked, hating how vulnerable he sounded.  
“No I don’t. I enjoy spending time with you.”  
Bernard let out a breath of relief, “I do as well”  
There’s another pause in the conversation.  
“Minion, are you happy being Megamind’s sidekick? Or whatever you are to him?”  
Bernard doesn’t get an answer.  
“Can I tell you what I think?”  
“Yea” Minion answered softly  
“I think, you’re not. I think you love to help people, and you feel better making sure Megamind is safe. You’ve always protected him haven’t you?”  
“Yes” Minion said a bit more louder than before  
“And that’s okay. You’ve don’t a great job making sure he’s okay. But what about you? You deserve to live your own life. And do what makes you happy”  
“I do?”  
Bernard gave a small laugh “YES! You deserve so much more than an unofficial sidekick gig. Is there something you love doing?”  
“Oh, well, I loved designing the new wing..... I’d love to maybe be an interior designer?”  
“You would make a great interior designer. The designs for the new wing look amazing! Please tell Megamind how you feel, he cares for you, he’d want you to be happy”  
“Really?”  
Bernard laughed again “YES. Please do this. I want to see you happy.”  
“You do? Okay, I’ll talk to him. I can do this. It’s just talking right?”  
“Yea. Do you want me to come with you?” “Oh thanks, but I think I need to do this on my own. Megamind and I have been friends for so long. I don’t want him to think I’m only doing this to make you happy” “Wait, you’re not are you?” Minion gave a little chuckle “for once in my life, no I’m not. I’ll do this to make myself happy.” “Hallelujah” Bernard said with a light laugh. 

Minion can hear the sound of a microwave. Bernard must be putting in the time for the food to be cooked.  
“You’re not seriously eating frozen food for dinner?”  
“Uh yea. It’s margarita pizza”  
“Ugh gross. How can you eat frozen meals?”  
“It’s easier than cooking”  
“Do you want to...maybe go out to eat?” Minion asked shyly.  
“Yea, I would love to” 

15 minutes later, Minion arrived on his front lawn.  
“No.” Bernard said, shaking his head  
“I knew you would say that”  
“I’m not getting on that” he said gesturing to the hover bike.  
“It’s safer than a car”  
“I saw the footage of you disguised as Megamind, riding it with Roxanne, while Titan was chasing you. That did not look safe.”  
Minion smiled “your stalking skills are showing”  
Bernard’s face went red.  
“If you really don’t want to go on it, we’ll find another way. But honestly you’ll be safe. I won’t let anything happen to you”  
Bernard thought about this, then put a leg over the hover bike. Minion smiled and put a helmet on him. Bernard put his arms around Minion, and held tightly.  
“You’ll be okay” Minion said while patting his hand. “But if it gets too much, tell me to stop, okay?”  
Minion could feel Bernard nodding his head okay, which is leaning on his back.

Once they arrived Minion suggested getting take away “I have a place I like to go to. I’d love to take you, if you want to?” Minion asked with a shy smile. Does he not know that Bernard will do anything for him? “That’ll be nice”.

They made their way to the edge of a forest. Bernard gave him a curious look but still followed him into the forest. The old Bernard would make a comment about Minion taking him to the woods. It would be some silly joke about Minion secretly being an axe murderer or something. But this new Bernard, this love sick teenager Bernard, just stayed close to the fish alien. 

Bernard almost tripped on a branch. Minion caught him in time. Then he held Bernard’s hand “just in case you trip again”. Bernard didn’t respond, feeling shy and something else at the moment. Something he’s not sure he’s ready to think about. He keeps looking up at Minion, and Minion keeps looking down at him. He’s really trying to take in the surroundings of the place but he’s eyes keep drifting to Minion. 

They stop at their destination. Bernard could smell fresh water, and spotted a river.  
“I used to come here a lot when Megamind was in prison. Evil lair would just get so suffocating sometimes, I couldn’t breathe. This is like a second home to me. Didn’t realise how much I’ve missed this place, until now.”  
“You haven’t been coming?”  
“No, I’ve been too busy, boss keeps making me work overtime” Minion said with a cheeky smile  
“I’m not your boss. Besides I always tell you to go home”  
“But whose going to keep you company, if I’m not there? And tell you all the work goss”  
“Hmm maybe I’ll actually get work done if I fire my employee” Bernard said with a huge smile  
“Nah then you’ll be bored”  
“That’s true. And you do bring me cake, so I guess I won’t fire you”  
“Good boss” Minion said while patting Bernard’s head 

They ate their food, and sat around talking for a while. Then Bernard got up “that water is calling me, come on, let’s go for a swim?”  
“Oh uh no, you go, I’m just going to stay here“  
“What? Why? Don’t know how to swim?” Bernard asked with a cheeky smile.  
Minion can’t help but smile when he does. But, still, he can’t just go in the water in front of people. He doesn’t want to remind humans that his body is just a fish, especially cute boys with nice brown eyes, who is now taking off his shirt. Wow, he has a lovely body. But Minion will scare him off. In the year that he was together with Sarah, not once did he get out of his suit. 

“Ha ha very funny. No. Um. I just, I don’t usually swim in front of people.”  
Bernard came in front of him, and held his hand  
“Hey it’s just me. You don’t have to, if you don’t want to. But it’ll be nice to see you out of your tank. Do you usually swim when you’re here?”  
“Yea I do”  
“If you want to, we can swim, but if not, then we can just sit here. I don’t want you to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable. Is it that you’ll be out of the suit?”  
“Yea. I’m an alien fish. Doesn’t that bother you?”  
“No. Does it bother you?”  
“Sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I love who I am. And am very grateful that I made it, to this planet. But sometimes I hate being different”  
“That would be hard. I know it’s no where near the same, but I feel different as well”  
“How so?”  
“Well, everyone knows what to say, and do all the time. People can just easily make friends. I have nothing to talk about with anyone. Most people just want to talk about sex all the time. Then when I tell them I’m asexual, they ask silly questions and tell me that if I tried it, I might like it. I don’t want to try it. It’s not me.”  
Minion rubbed his thumb against Bernard’s thumb “I feel the same. I would never tell people they should be asexual, so why are they telling me that I’ll like sex?”  
“People can be so cruel”  
“Tell me about it. That’s why I’m glad I have you.” Minion said as he held his hand “as a friend”  
“I’m glad as well” Bernard smiled. Hopefully, one day Minion will want more. But for now he’s okay with friendship.


	10. Chapter 10

They sat there talking a little more, then Minion got up, and put his mechanical hand in the water.  
“Feels nice”  
“Wait you can feel things?”  
“Yea. Megamind put a nerve system in. My whole body has it. I can feel pain as well, but when it gets above a 2 out of 10, there’s a kill switch that will cut it off. My body will know there is pain, but I won’t be able to feel it.”  
Bernard’s jaw dropped “that is amazing”  
“It is. Megamind designed it for me. He knew I wanted to feel human, so he added it in.” 

“So are we going in or what?” Minion asked  
“If you want to. You don’t have to, though”  
“I know. I want to” Minion said in his usual perky voice. How is he always so upbeat? Bernard really likes that about him. He doesn’t let the little things get to him. He’s just generally happy. He really is a breath of fresh air.

Except for today at work. Minion wasn’t happy today. And Bernard never wants to make him feel like that again. He missed he’s usual banter and jokes. There were a lot of times when Bernard wanted to say something, but he’s a coward. He was so relieved when he saw Minion’s number calling on his phone.

Bernard took off his jeans and walked to the water in his boxers. Minion gave him a shy look, then jumped from his tank to the water. The water really is nice, it’s a beautiful night. Bernard would usually just be in front of the television right now, with a microwave dinner. It’s nice to be around nature again. 

Minion just stayed in the same spot in the water, looking, well vulnerable. So Bernard suggested they race to the other side of the river. Bernard made it half way, and Minion has already gone and came back.  
“And that’s the last time I race you in water”  
Minion laughed and gave a sheepish look “I think I won”  
Bernard laughed “it was a close call, but I think you just won”. 

They stayed in the river until it started to get too cold. Minion dehydrated a couple of towels that are in the hover bike and they dried off, then started to head home. 

Minion got off the hover bike to say good bye to Bernard.

“I had a really nice night” Bernard said  
“Same! We should do this again”  
“I’d love to”  
“I guess I’ll see you at work tomorrow?”  
“You sure will boss”

Bernard hugged Minion, and squeezed tight. The hug went for a little while. Bernard seemed reluctant to let go, which didn’t bother Minion at all. Bernard ended the hug and gave a quick kiss to Minion’s tank. Then quickly went inside his home. 

How is Minion supposed to concentrate on getting home now?

Bernard can’t sleep. He keeps thinking about how he kissed Minion’s tank. He hopes that was okay? Bernard’s never been into the whole kissing thing. I mean why would he want to put his tongue in anyone’s mouth? That’s just weird. But kissing Minion’s tank felt right. He really hopes Minion was okay with it? What if Bernard just crossed a line? 

Whose he kidding, there’s no way he’ll be able to sleep. He may as well continue with Minion’s wing. He’s making good progress with it. Bernard keeps imagining the look on Minion’s face when he sees it. That happy surprise look he gives. He loves that look, it’s so.. Minion, with his adorable eyes, and cute smile. Okay. He needs to concentrate!

Minion somehow made it home without crashing the hover bike. He’s always been a safe driver, it’s just, well, Bernard kissed him! Does Minion have a chance with him? Was that a date? Ahh too many questions! It doesn’t matter, he’s floating on air, actually it’s water, but who cares. What a night!

When Minion entered not so evil lair, he was surprised to see a light on. Megamind’s on the couch, asleep. He jumped awake.  
“Minion, you’re home.”  
“Uh yeaa.. is everything okay Sir?”  
“Oh yes, I just wanted to see you. Catch up a little. Was that a date you went on with Bernard tonight?”  
“I honestly don’t know. We never said it was. But uh..” Minion gave his friend a shy look.  
Megamind’s face lit up in a huge smile “did something happen?”  
“Well. Uh. We hugged... andhekissedmytank”  
“What? That is wonderful. I knew there was something going on with you two! Roxanne and I both noticed the change in him, when you came home that day, that he was here.”  
“What change?”  
“Well, when it was just the three of us. He seeemd unhappy. Constantly using sarcasm, and just seemed like a downer, you know?”  
Minion thought of Bernard when he first met him “yea. I know what you mean”  
“But when you entered, his face just, changed. He actually had a smile on his face. Then he went bright red, when you flirted with him. It was really cute to watch”  
“I didn’t flirt with him, i was just teasing”  
Megamind scoffed “call it what you like. But either way, that boy has it bad for you Minion”  
“Why was he even here?”  
“Oh. Uh. Sorry I can’t tell you”  
“Whatever.” Minion sat on the couch “actually I’m glad you’re awake, because, is it okay if we talk about something?”  
The air seems serious now, so Megamind said “of course Minion” in a serious tone.  
“Megamind. We’ve done so much together. I love how close we are. It’s just. There’s some things, I’m not sure if I want to do, anymore. I’ve always followed you, and I’ve loved every minute of it. Especially the part where I know you’re safe.”  
“What’s this about Minion?”  
“Well.. uh. I don’t want to be your unofficial sidekick”  
“Do you want to be my official sidekick?”  
Minion shook his head “No. Sorry. I want to live my own life. I want to.. be an interior designer. Or something along those lines. Bernard said. He said I can be happy. He said I’m great at designing.”  
“You are. You always have been. I mean look at evil lair? Look at my wonderful outfits you’ve created? You have an eye for this stuff.” Megamind grabbed Minion’s hand “Minion. I’m so sorry if it seemed like I just wanted you to follow me. You’ve been a wonderful Henchfish and an amazing sidekick. I should of asked what it was you wanted in life. I’m sorry Minion”   
“No, don’t be sorry. It was my fault. I honestly didn’t even consider doing something on my own”   
“What made you consider now?”   
Minion smiled “Bernard. He believes in me. He said I deserve to be happy”   
“You do Minion. He really means a lot to you, doesn’t he?”   
Minion gave a content smile “he’s my best friend. He just makes me.. happy”   
“Well, I’m really glad you two found each other”   
“Me too”   



	11. Chapter 11

One week later, and Bernard, Minion, Megamind and Roxanne are outside the museum.  
“Okay sir, I really hope you like the new wing for you” Minion said nervously  
“He’s been worried about it all week” Bernard told them while smiling at Minion.  
“I’m sure it will be fine, as long as the facts are true this time”  
Bernard gave a nervous chuckle “yea sorry about that”  
“All good my comrade friend” Megamind said, leading the way into the museum.

Once inside the new wing, Megamind and Roxanne gasped. “Wow” Roxanne commented “You did all of this?” Megamind said gleefully 

They added some of Megamind’s evil creations, like the first disguise watch, and invisibility shield (they show it turn on then off). There’s a replica of the De-gun and a prototype of the first brainbot. Megamind’s outfits are there as well, along with his capes. 

“I remember when you wore that” Roxanne commented “you looked really sexy in it”.  
The blue alien turned purple, looking at his girlfriend shyly.  
“I can’t believe I have to say this, but do not take the outfits from my museum” Bernard said authoritatively.  
The couple looked embarrassed. Megamind whispered to his girlfriend “don’t worry, he can’t guard my outfits 24/7”  
“I heard that!” The couple giggled  
“We’ll take the Black Mamba as well, sweetie” Roxanne whispers to her boyfriend.  
Bernard groaned and ran a hand through his hair.  
“You okay Bernie, Ernie?” Minion asked  
“We really need to find a better nickname!”  
“Oh, don’t be like that B”

Megamind and Roxanne are now looking at facts of how many times Megamind has escaped prison, and some of the ways he’s escaped.

“Actually, can I show you something Minion?”  
“Sure boss. Are you two okay if we go?”  
Megamind came up to his life long friend “Minion, this is absolutely amazing. Thank you so much for designing it! And thank you Bernard. I really love it” Megamind said and pulled the other two in for a hug.  
“It’s wonderful. You two make a great team” Roxanne commented, hugging each of them.

The fish alien and the human male are now standing in front of a huge dark purple curtain.  
“Minion. I really hope you like it.” Bernard said while running a hand through his hair.  
“Hey it’s okay. It’s just me” Minion said while taking Bernard’s hand to hold.

Bernard moves the curtain aside and they entered. Minion can feel his heart racing  
“What is all...”  
“Well I did say that I wanted to make you, your own wing. And this is it.”  
“But I thought it was just going to be a small part of Megamind’s wing. That we would add on. Not all of this”  
“Well. What can I say? I’m a good stalker” Bernard said laughing. Minion chuckled and went towards his first Mechanical suit.  
“Wow. My first suit. It’s so small.” Minion said with a cute smile. Bernard just stared at his friend, taking it all in. His reactions are always so expressive. He’d have to surprise him more often. 

“Oh my tank. I can’t believe you found it. The government took it away, because they thought it was making me talk” Minion said with a laugh.  
“Megamind helped me find it. Can’t believe how dumb they were.”  
“You have no idea. First they thought I was like a parrot. Then they were convinced Megamind taught me how to talk, like tricks you’d teach a dog. Then it was the tank” Minion said, gesturing to the small, round tank. “Then finally they saw me as an actual person”  
Bernard squeezes Minion’s hand “you are. You’re an amazing person. They’re idiots for not seeing it straight away”  
Minion gave his friend a shy smile.

Bernard made a planet that looks just like the one Minion and Megamind are from. Minion saw it and gasped.  
“That looks just like it- how did you?”  
“Oh, satellite photos.”  
There’s facts about the planet. While Minion’s reading it, he leaned his head tank on Bernard’s shoulder, and put an arm around Bernard’s back. Bernard put his arms around Minion’s mechanical body.  
“I’m so sorry about losing your home, Minion”  
“Thank you. I’m glad I found a home here”  
“Me too” Bernard said looking into the fish alien’s eyes.

There’s some inventions that Minions built. And facts about him and his achievements. There’s also photos of how he helped Megamind stop Titan. 

“Bernard, this is- just amazing! Thank you”  
“I’m so relieved you like it!”  
“No one has ever done anything like this for me.”  
“Well no one cares about you like I do”  
Minion’s heart skipped a beat “really? You care.. about me?” He asked softly.  
Bernard gave him one of his huge smile. It’s a shame, no one else gets to see this beautiful smile. But at the same time, Minion loves how it’s all for him.  
“Minion. I’m falling in love with you.”  
Minion gasped.  
“You are just incredible. You have the biggest heart. And you always make me laugh. And I just... I love seeing your smile. I’m not sure if you just want to be friends. But you have a right to know, or maybe I just really needed to tell you? Because Minion, I’ve never felt this way before. It’s new, and scary. But fun and exciting. I want to be with you. Always. Would you.. uh.. go on a date with me?”  
Minion nodded his fish body “I would love to go on a date with you Bernard. You’re just so..” Minion groaned “sarcastic, and can be mean when you want to. But you are also the sweetest person I know. And you’re just so handsome, and hilarious. You’ve helped me realise that what I want matters. That I matter. You’ve made me so happy. I always want to be around you as well. You make life.. better.” Minion hugged Bernard and said softly “I think.. I’m falling in love with you as well.” And he can’t help the way it sounds vulnerable, because, well he’s giving him his heart.  
“So.. that’s a yes to a date?”  
“Yea it is my love” Minion said still hugging him  
“My love? I think that’s the best nickname you’ve said.”  
“Really? You like it?” Minion said, looking at him with a huge smile.  
“I love it” Bernard kissed Minion’s tank, Minion moved to where Bernard’s lips were, making them kiss, in between the tank.  
“Is this okay?”  
“Yea. Would you like to uh.. you can kiss my suit if you like? I mentioned how I have feeling in it. And only if you want to?”  
Bernard moves his head and kisses where a human heart would be. Then he kisses Minion’s hands and arms. 

“I still can’t believe you made me all of this” Minion said, gesturing to the room.  
“I would do anything for you, Minion”  
“Hmm, I’m going to love having you around.”


End file.
